This time of year is really hard on me. I struggle to be happy with life and especially with my kids (particularly my teenage son). I see posts from family and friends of their kids receiving all types of awards-sterling scholar, high honor roll, national honors society, good report cards, and various scholarships. You see in school that child used to be me. I would do whatever I could to make sure I had straight A's. There were times my Mom would pay us or reward us for our grades, but lets be honest that wasn't for me but more for my sisters, cause I would have gotten the good grades regardless. However, I didn't mind the nice little bonus for getting an A. Since I'm being honest let me also admit I wasn't an angel child especially in high school I got in to trouble-lots of it. However, even when I was doing things I shouldn't be I still kept my grades up. I still graduated in the top of my class and got a scholarship.
Now fast forward 15 years. I thought my son was on the same path-through about 9th grade he managed to pull really good grades. In grade school and middle school he tested grade levels ahead in reading and was above or where he needed to be in everything else. He was pretty much a straight A student through 7th grade. In 8th grade he continued along the same path, with the only noticeable difference being a little bit of a struggle in math. In 9th grade he still pulled okay grades, but things were beginning to slip just a little bit more. Then 10th grade rolls around and all of the sudden it's like he just doesn't care AT ALL! When did music, girls, and peers become so much more important than anything to do with school?
Now my husband and I aren't unrealistic parents. We realize that every child is not able to achieve or get A's or even B's, however we also realize there are some who can. And when the reason your child is not getting the grades you expect them to get is mainly due to the fact that 50% of their assignments are big fat zeros-because no effort has been made at all-then we see that there is a serious problem. It's like a roller coaster around here do nothing for the quarter and then at the end start worrying and trying to get a few assignments in to bring the grade up a little bit.
Realizing the problem after first quarter this year, we tried to get a handle on the situation. We tried everything and anything we could think of. We tried talking to him about how this was affecting his future and the fact that we weren't paying his way through college. We took away privileges-phone, hanging out with friends, etc. We tried basing his curfew off his grades. We tried rewarding him-in fact this last quarter the stakes were pretty high-a new bat (costing roughly $350) for the grades we asked him to get, and still nothing. Now it's the end of the quarter the end of the school year and he's scrambling again trying get some grades up, so at least he's not failing.
In the meantime I am just sitting here wanting to scream and pull out my hair and trying not to cry every time that I see a post about the accomplishments of one of my friends or families kids.
And regardless, even though I am not happy with his choices, I am trying to just love my child, and remind myself of that. And remember that no matter what happens I really do love him, and we will get through this phase in life, one way or the other.
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