Facing One of My Biggest Fears

One of my biggest fears is speaking in public. I have some serious anxiety. A few years ago when I got called to teach relief society I didn't know if I could do it. I remember sitting there crying the few minutes before it was my turn to go-I survived the first lesson and ended up teaching for the next year-each time getting a little bit better. However, I still dreaded and just couldn't fathom speaking in sacrament meeting. That's right in the almost 33 years of my life I can honestly say I have never spoken in sacrament meeting-not even as a youth speaker! I have said the opening prayer a few times and bore my testimony once, but never given the talk. This  is kind of amazing considering the fact that Landon is now on his third consecutive bishopric and usually this is something a bishopric members wife would be asked to do. I had friends who protected me, bishops wife's and Landon of course, whenever they would suggest me to speak, so I was able to escape. Then this last new bishopric got put in and a few days later Landon came home with the speakers for the first month and guess who was listed-yep me?! I really didn't want to speak, however I didn't feel like I could say no. For the last few months I had been having the feeling or prompting that I was going to be asked to speak in sacrament soon and that I was at a point in my life where I might be able to handle it without having a full blow anxiety attack. So I consented to remain on the schedule and give a talk. Yesterday was the big day...as time for church got closer and closer I experienced some pretty bad anxiety-I shed more than a few tears, but before I knew it the time had come and there I was sitting on the stand waiting my turn, luckily Landon had at least arranged for me to go first. It was finally my turn and though I was a little shaky and my voice wavered throughout the talk I made it through it-with much relief. I did it I faced one of my biggest fears and survived-now hopefully it will be a long long time before I will ever be asked to do that again. I was thankful that I had Landon there to support me and encourage me-he also gave a talk right after me-he seems to be a natural and always know what to say. I was also grateful that my Grandma Marshall came to sit with Bryce and the other kids while I was up there-and though she probably would have been fine for the whole meeting I used that as an excuse to go down off the stand as soon as my talk was over.